Success List for Satuday, March 2, 2013

It's day 1 of a working weekend, but it's been a really good day. I worked until I was tired, and then rather than go to bed, I went out to run errands. And now I'm going to bed.

Here's today's list:

1. I not only feel how things are improving, I can see real evidence of it in my business planning.
2. I got the idea to reach out to put ads on art blogs, found some people to try, and then emailed a dozen as a start. I think it's a great idea.
3. I found some washi tape on clearance!
4. I was able to get a lot of groceries without spending a lot of money. I got more than 10 pounds of chicken for just about $5. 
5. I've found a stack of recipes that I can use to start cooking the chicken.
6. I caught myself a few times today running into a whirlwind of vinegar. And I pulled myself out each time.
7. I have been thinking about not saying anything to my client about the rate issue. Instead, I'm putting the energy out there for her to expand rather than contract.
8. Whatever my client does, I know that I'm expanding and I'm going to be great.
9. I've decided to expand my ebook course to 4 sessions and I'm going to charge $199 for the course. I've got ideas about what I'm going to put into the expanded time, too.
10. I feel such energy around the art journals. I feel so confident that they are going to really take off.
11. I spent a little more time picking up and organizing the supplies in the family room. It feels grat to have so much accomplished.
12. I got great customer service tonight at the grocery and I told the front end manager about it.

The Importance of Daily Habits & Clarity

Today, I read something that really made me think. It's a quote that says something like: It's not the things you do occasionally that matter. It's the things you do every day.

That really emphasizes the important of new habits. I'm putting some great new habits into place. But I really want to do more. And those words inspire me to do more. To do all I can see I can do.

There are a few things that I have not put into place that I know would help me. I'm not really sure why I'm so reluctant. I'm not so much resistant as reluctant. It's my conditioned mind clinging to the comfort zone. I see that. And I'm grateful that I feel its so easy to make the best choice.

And I will. I'm starting now.

I'm a little confused about my weight loss amount. I can clearly see where I avoid the stark truth around this area. That changes today. I see the truth, and I'm adjusting to focus on it and speak it clearly. I'm staying with the WW app numbers, but I clearly know that I started lower. My goals are set for the true starting number. That's how I'm going to keep it clear.

It's interesting to see how I get fuzzy about this issue. I wonder if I do the same thing in other areas.

I can feel that I'm making more money right now! It feels awesome. I know I can keep finding ways to make even more as the weeks and months go by.

Here's my list for today:

1. When I realized I was double booked for next week, I called and moved my client appointment. And I had a good call with my client.
2. My free consultation was a huge success! People need three things: practical information, a vision, and encouragement. I'm so fortunate that I can give them all three.
3. I spent time thinking about new ways to advertise my business. I experimented with a few Facebook ads. I'm going to run a few of them.
4. I decided to stay home from my event tonight because I really wanted to do some things for myself. I invested the entire evening and got so much done and organized. It took much longer than I suspected, but now I can get right to everything. And I have a system for holding things that need to be put away.
5. I paid all of my bills!

Success List for February 28, 2013

My success list for today:

1. I listened to my intuition and attended a conference call that totally inspired me. I'm sure this guy has attended some of Peak Potentials workshops. He has the language and energy of that work. I really appreciated the refresher.
2. I spontaneously posted online that I was going to give two 30 minute consultations away and someone took me up on it. The call is scheduled for tomorrow. I'm not sure why, but that post was seen by over 400 people!
3. Everyone I spoke to today, I had a whole list of great things to share.
4. I finished the work for the client project. It was a day late, but it was done with excellence.
5. When I realized the conference call had not been recorded because of my error, I laughed.

Success List for February 27, 2013

Today, I found success through these:

1. I allowed myself to work at the pace and intensity that felt healthy. I didn't push myself to meet the schedule I had created for the day.
2. I found several creative options for resolving the technology challenge for my upcoming class.
3. I made a great connection between Greg and Chris that hopefully will land work for Greg and a working solution for Chris.
4. I allowed myself the pleasure of purchasing some new materials for my books.
5. I was inspired by the beauty of the graphic design examples I found.
6. I started to create a new graphic identity for the art business.
7. I got the idea to send a follow up envelope with an assortment of goodies. Even the envelope will be one of the goodies.
8. I took good care of my teeth.
9. I found a dinner option out that was nutritious, filling, and within my food plan.

Success List for Monday, February 25

1. I had excellent materials ready for my client meeting, things that surprised her and delighted her with how close we are coming to having her vision become reality in this area of her business.
2. I was able to listen to my client's personal challenges today with an open heart. I was able to share some of her burden of her bad news, and to help her find a solution to two practical challenges she faced.
3. I processed a new business challenge with a great perspective. I acknowledged my emotional pain over it, but made a strong, practical business decision.
4. I took action throughout the day to take care of myself and attend to my needs.
5. I listened to my intuition and connected with a person who was able to help me find what I needed so my shopping trip was successful.
6. I was able to recommend a friend for a job that could be a wonderful fit for her.
7. I reached out to have lunch with someone who I know wants to spend time with me.
8. I processed a business disappointment quickly and made a decision about my course of action that provides a real solution, and not just indulges my emotional reaction.

Happy Days

I'm happy for no reason. Or rather, the reason that I'm happy is because I choose to be happy.

It's easy sometimes to focus on what's not quite right or what hasn't yet appeared in my life. But it only takes a little effort to switch from looking at those things to looking at all of the things that are good and right and pleasing.

As I write this, I'm sipping a big mug of hot tea, rose tea that I purchased at a time when I could indulge the little luxuries of that price point. And yet my life today is still filled with little luxuries. I can take a warm bubble bath any time I want and light the room up with candles. I can dry off with a fluffy towel and put on lotion that nourishes my skin and my soul. And this is just one little experience.

Today, I commit anew to raising the quality of my life in a conscious way. I choose to look for ways I can indulge my senses, refresh my mind, and recharge my soul in the small moments of my day. I can move from one luxurius small moment to another in my days. I can make my life to be anything I want.

My intention today is to focus my heart and mind on the lovely, luxurious elements of my life, and to string together those experiences into small moments where I feel the fullness of the abundance of the universe. I do this with the purpose of reconnecting my body, mind and spirit with the source of my life and my higher self. I do this to remember who I truly am in the midst of the life I'm currently living.

When I look at my life and my current situation from the perspective of my eternal soul, it seems like a grand adventure. And I wonder why I take some parts of it so seriously. It's not so serious. When my heart feels the burdens of responsibilities, I remember that I'm free and I choose to be here in this moment having this experience... and the burden lifts away and is replaced with joy.

It's about relaxing into the moment. It's about accepting things exactly as they are. It's about feeling the joy and beauty of what I want to create and letting it go, knowing that the universe is working to pull all of my dreams into my current  reality--and it doesn't need my help. In fact, my help isn't help at all. It's an anchor to the current moment, the one I'm really wanting to release it its perfect reality to allow the next moment to slip in.

Excellence. I want to bring a spirit of excellence with me into everything I do. I want to come from my wisdom and greet every situation, task and person with kindness, compassion, understanding, and attention to detail. Let my behavior show my intention to all who have eyes to see it. Let my actions ring true to the circle of my heart. Let my words land lightly and bring light to all who hear them. And let my works inspire others with their beauty and harmony to breathe in the abundance of the universe in that moment of time.

So it is.

I Woke Up Angry Today

I'm not sure what I dreamt last night, but I woke up angry this morning. In fact, I woke up having an angry conversation with the board.

I am angry with them. I read the minutes from the strategy session and almost every function has added in a responsibility for social media to help them accomplish their own work. And yet, none of them are using social media. They somehow think that it's my job to contribute to their job. And it's not.

Even with C on the board, there is still almost no board participation on social media. It's as if they believe that someone just giving me this job, I make magic happen and they don't have to get their hands dirty. They've all delegated it to me.

I'm actually quite angry about this. So angry that I'm thinking about resigning tonight.

Maybe I should. I'm in an impossible situation with them. I'm out there doing some great stuff for them, and none of them are participating. I don't believe anyone on the board has even read a single thing I've posted on Facebook since September, and that number is almost to 200. Out of nearly 200 posts, I don't know that any board member has even read a single one.

So why am I wasting my time?

I've given them 6 months. Someone has to start the ball rolling. And in six months, I can tell you that I'm still the only one participating.

Why am I wasting my time?

Am I mad at them, or myself?

I'm working really hard for them, full bore, the way I do everything. And it's not that I don't feel appreciated. It's not appreciate that I'm looking for. I don't want someone to pat me on the head once a month and say good job. What I want is to see growth and stirring in the community. I want to see results from the seeds I'm planting. I understand that it is a process, that I do my part, and that through collaboration, what I do grows and expands.

If these guys were clients, I would fire them right now.

They are not my people.

I feel like I've given them more than a year to grow and learn and step up. And in all this time, there has been zero growth on their side. And to be fair to them, zero visible growth. Some of them may actually have changed, but not enough that its visibile. None of them is using social media for their own business.

In fact, the entire list of 1400 people they send emails out to reach, very few of them care about social media or use it. Even Anita has disappeared from my webinars.

I think I've received all of the benefit I'm going to receive from participating in this group, and perhaps in this industry.

I'm not mad at any of them as individuals. They are who they are. And they are basically nice enough people.

I'm mad because I find myself surrounded by an attitude that I hate. I can't stand people who don't take responsibility for their life, their business, and their world. I'm not the hired help. I'm not the person who does the undignified things at the edges of their world.

That's how I feel I'm being treated.

Not by them. None of them is treating me with disrespect. They are treating my function with disrespect. They treat their own businesses with disrespect. These are not my people.

So why am I here?

I agreed to do this job for the first year. And things went so slowly that I agreed to return this year. The only real benefit I get is exposure to their design community list. And I can advertise that I'm on the board when I reach out to other designers.

So here's what I'm going to do.

1. I'm going to create a list of requirements. If you want something posted on social media (event or photo or whatever) here's what you have to provide me with. Thoses requests have to come by email because they have to had a web address or attachments.
2. I'm going to actively seek out other design industry clients using my board credentials for the rest of this year.
3. I'm going to cut back and do the bare minimum of work for them.
4. I've already stopped giving discounts for my work. I've stopped maintaining the boad page on my site and I'm going to update it one more time with a listing of my services for designers.

In the meetings, I'm going to speak my truth from the heart when I feel something must be said. The rest of the time, I'm just going to observe them, and see what I can learn about their energy. I'm also going to start taking notes about how to work with trade organizations in the future. I want to squeeze every bit of value from this experience.

Perhaps I can write an ebook about how to help your trade organization make the leap into social media. Perhaps I should sell this ebook.

I can also use what I'm learning to help me focus on topics that small business people wrestle with to build their online business presence. While these are not my people, they can help me see what non-technical people struggle with.

The next question is about who I want to be.

I don't want to be angry because I'm in this situation. Anger is a knee-jerk reaction, a way to reclaim my power in a situation where I feel powerless. I'm not powerless. In fact, I'm in control here. I can choose how I'm going to look at this situation, to choose the frame for viewing these events and people. I know that they are not my people, and yet I'm here with withm. I could chose to remove myself gracefully. Or I can choose to stay for a whilte to meet my own objectives.

I can choose to see them as frightened people who live in a very small world. That is sad, eventhough it is their own choice. How many times to each of us find ourselves in a box in our lives. That's a uniform human condition. It's what we do next that shows our character. I don't know what any of them will choose, and I might not be around to see what they choose.

In the meantime, I choose to be a voice for empoweerment, not for tearing them down. I choose to be a light in the darkness rather than blame them for their darkness. That never hlps anyone find the light. I choose to believe the best for them, that at any time they can make the choice to start doing better.

Some of them will surprise and delight me. I eagerly await that miracle.

Am I done being angry? I hope so.

Success Lists

Thursday
December 13
1. I worked hard and long but stopped when I realized I was truly fading.
2. I spoke my truth with Ronaldo and shared my feelings.
3. I completed work for Pentimento and sent out an invoice right away.
4. I reached out to Casey and made sure she knows that I love her.
5. I added comments to the MMI questions on Facebook that show my motivation and character.

Wednesday
December 12
1. I figured out how to fix the headset microphone not working.
2. I acted quickly in the moment to resolve the technical problem with the webinar.
3. I didn't let the technical glitch stop me. When I got things resolved, I recorded the webinar without the audience.
4. I stayed up late and got up early to make sure I was ready for the webinar.
5. I prioritized keeping this list and got caught up.

Tuesday
December 11
1. I spoke my truth at the board meeting about helping people take their business to the next level.
2. I let Sylvia know how much I appreciate and respect her.
3. I found a great balance between all of my work, appointments, and taking care of myself.
4. I kept an open heart in my dealings with the board.

Millionaire Mind Intensive

There's no way for me to record even the highlights of my weekend experience at the MMI event, so I'm going to find a way to capture some of the outcomes here.

When I got home, as I was crawling into bed, I heard these thoughts running through my head that wanted to pull me back into a smaller mindset. I dismissed them. When I awoke in the middle of the night, again I heard these thoughts that were freaking about about changes I've made and decisions I've made -- by comparing them to my smaller mindset. Again, I chose not to follow those thoughts.

And then I realized: that's the voice of my conditioned mind!

So my first success today is that I recognized the voice of my conditioned mind!

And my second success is that I chose not to give into those thoughts. Instead, I said: Thank you for sharing and returned back to my larger mindset.

SETTING MY FINANCIAL GOAL

Next, I set my financial goal for 2013. I decided I want to make 10 times what I used to make which I rounded off to $600,000. I realize that I could make more, and I could make less, but this goal feels right. I'm almost tingling with anticipation to see how this is going to unfold.

Then, to anchor the energy a bit, I started working out what my budget would look like at that income level. I could restore my financial health, build up my business, support my personal growth, and help mom with that level. That's a great feeling! That's my first goal!!

With my give, I had the idea to give my nieces and nephews each $5K in a 401K and explain how they can borrow against it. That would be an amazing gift!

FREE FROM SADNESS

Because of all the work I did around Dad, I jumped over to see how I feel about him and my last conversation with him. The sadness is gone!

I decide for me.

HONORING MY METAPHOR

Now, I want to decide what I'm going to do with my exercise metaphor. I want to honor how I've broken through my resistance to my success. I'm thinking about using a shadowbox. It's an idea I'm liking. Let's see what happens next.

OTHER PEOPLE

It was an interesting weekend in terms of the people I met and what I observed about them.

I met some really nice women. A few of them I feel could become friends. But I also recognize that they are not playing the game at the same level I am. I recognize that I'm ready to take actions that they are not ready to take. That's okay. But I really want people around me who are courageous and will inspire me to keep taking actions in my own life. I'm just not sure what I think about any of them in terms of spending much time with them.

I so appreciate the time that L took to work with me. I recognize it was only 10 minutes of her time, and yet it has made a huge difference for me. I'm so grateful for her generosity and I take in the blessing of that gift. Thank you, universe, for bringing me such a wonderful gift and for helping me to be prepared to accept it.

I just realized that what I really want in my life is intimacy. I don't mean to put such high restrictions on who can be my friend. That level of interaction, that kind of integrity, is what I want in intimate relationships. I'm really okay with friends being just where they are. I still expect some compassion and integrity, but I don't need that kind of intimacy with all of my friends.

I'm happy to help and inspire them. I'm happy to have that be my gift to them.

I've certainly learned in the last few years about how it helps me to help others. I love that. I'm open and willing to collaborate with others with the goal of our mutual benefit.

GOALS
1. Recognized my conditioned mind.
2. I didn't listen to my conditioned mind.
3. I set my financial goal so high that I will know it's not a mistake when I reach it.
4. Shared my workshop experience with another person.
5. I recognized when I was getting tired today and stopped working.

I'm Done Trying To Make Things Work

It's been an interesting day and night.

I wish I could sleep. But at the same time, I'm enjoying the revelations I've been having as I smooth out my energy around a few challenges in my life.

Let's start there.

I have a couple relationships with challenges either now or in the recent past. The interesting thing is that I'm not upset about them. I can clearly see where the challenges have come from, and I don't feel responsible for either the problems or the solutions. I feel removed from the situations. I can see where I've contributed to the challenges, but mostly what I feel is that everyone is just doing their best and these were inevitable.

Yes, I do feel that I'm not playing the same game as these other people. We are not equally matched, and I understood that from the beginning. I like them. I see who they are. And I see that we are like people living on different floors of a building with only an empty elevator shaft to connect us. Some of the time, the differences don't matter because they don't enter the picture. But eventually, the differences do appear and when they do, there isn't anything to be done. Everyone is already doing their best.

I'm not mad at these people for misunderstanding me or making conclusion that they project onto me. I can see that they cannot do it differently. I don't feel any need to explain myself or justify myself, either. It's almost like the difficulties don't really matter to me. And it feels a little like I'm moving forward without them. Without resolution. But I'm not angry, and they are free to join me at any time in the future, with no questions asked, with no explanation needed.

It's odd because I feel one of them stewing a bit about this and can almost hear the conversation on the other side, laying out for me everything I've done wrong, expecting me to listen to all of my offenses. And I suppose some action is also wanted. But I'm not interested in hearing about what anyone thinks I've done wrong. Because I know my intentions are clear and that I've been misunderstood and not seen clearly. It's not that I don't care about how the other person feels. It's that I know I'm not responsible for it.

I don't intend to sit through any sort of meeting where I'm blasted with the perspective of the other side and then expected to do something. I can't really say that I'm sorry that the misunderstanding has even happened because I don't feel I've contributed to it. I can see it was inevitable. I don't expect the people on the other side to change or understand me. What I'd like is for each of them to process it on their own and come to their own conclusion about the value of the relationship to them, and the act accordingly.

This whole thing is odd to me, and it's the first time I've felt like I'm in this situation.

I can remember times in the past when I was the person on the other side, and I expected to be heard and listened to and I expected some sort of almost apology for the fact that they contributed to my feeling this way. But I see with crystal clarity tonight that every time I feel something in response to someone else, it's truly about me and not them. Even if they meant to hurt me.

It's almost like I understand tonight that no one else owes me anything in any relationship. That if I like what's going on, if I can play the game at the highest possible level, I can enjoy every relationship no matter what is going on. No matter what the other person is doing. And if I can't play the game at the highest possible level, I need to step back and smooth out my own energy and come back when I am available at that level.

Of course, I'm also free to just keep going in my own life without those people, too.

It's feeling odd, but I must admit, it also feels extremely centered and balanced, and like I've just taken a huge step forward. Like this truth has been just out of my reach for a while, and I've just reached it.

It's a profound understanding of the interaction between self-reliance and independence within relationships. Detachment and intimacy at the same time.

I knew I needed to get up and write here. I've ploughed through many more layers since I've been writing than I was able to reach just thinking about it. My truism is still true: If you want to really learn something, write about it.

As I was smoothing out my energy with one person earlier, I was thinking through a whole list of releases. Things I am releasing this person from. Permission I am giving them to take any action they feel is best. I don't have any expectations of the shape of the relationship going forward.

But in the process of doing that, of making those releases, I found that I also released myself from something in my work that has been distracting me.

I am no longer willing to coax people to do what is in their best interest.

I have suddenly become totally the tough love person. If you want to do something, and you want some help, I'm available. But it's not my job to help you get a vision for what you can do and what is possible for you.

What a sense of freedom this gives me from my potential (and current) client list! When they are ready, they will call me. Or they won't call me. Or they will call someone else. No matter what happens, it doesn't matter. I'm off doing my own work. If they are a match for me, if they want to play the game at my level, I'm here. I'm available, I'm willing to be generous with my insights, advice, and support. But only when they show up ready to work and play the game at my level.

I don't want to ever have another new client meeting like I had on Saturday. Or like I did last Tuesday where I got my soapbox and told them the hard truth about how they are playing instead of running a business.

Instead, I want to recognize earlier that these are not my people and make the choice not to spend my time or energy with them. I want to free myself to keep working on my business, to keep raising the level of where I play my own game. No more investing time with potential clients who interrupt me just as I'm ready to tell them the truth. No more trying to make things work that don't fit together.