What's Going On?

I've really been scolding myself lately to keep my energy to myself. I can hardly contain myself because of the shift in my energy caused by my interest in this man.

On the one hand, I know that my energy travels and that at some level, he is aware of what is happening. It's not just my behavior that I'm focused on, it's my stray thoughts and running energy. My intention is not to pursue this man, so that means not just my behavior, but my energy needs to conform.

On the other hand, it's really exciting to feel myself so open and vulnerable. This has nothing to do with him, but with me. I try to reign myself in with that remembrance. At the same time, I'm trying to let myself feel everything I feel.

I'm a little off balance with this change. My static energy and my routine sense of balance are disrupted. It's a new thing, and of course it will take me a little bit of time to figure out what is going on and how to manage it.

When I woke up this morning, I realized in my dream I was visiting him at work. It felt like I was stalking him at work. I immediately started scolding myself and said STOP IT STOP IT STOP IT, as if words could reign in my energy.

I'm really in a quandary about this.