Glimpse In A Mirror

Creating Order From My Own Chaos

I'm taking a break from a task that I have been putting off for a long time. Well, one of two tasks I've been putting off (the other being finishing my taxes -- I filed for an extension). I actually started my afternoon by beginning to clean up my office. I live in a small space, after living in larger spaces, and so I've never quite FIT in this home. I've always had overflow stuff, and since I'm using my largest bedroom as my office, the office is the overflow room. The good news is that I sit with my back to the mess, so once I walk into the room and start working, the mess is gone from my exprience. But I know that the mess is around me.

At times, the room has been in better order than it is now. I think this downhill slide started when I was packing for my trip home for Christmas. I had been keeping my families presents up here, of course, and I had to pull out a lot of storage boxes to get the presents organized. I left town with the room a mess. In the last four months, I have not really picked up, and I've also added to the mess. Some of the mess is related to changing the seaonsal clothes, which is complicated by the fact that I have lost enough weight that I have stacks of winter clothes sitting around waiting to be given away instead of being put back into the office closet. I'm not blaming my messiness on my diet! In fact, in the bigger picture, the diet is going to help me fit better into this house because I'm getting rid of the largest sized clothes right now, leaving me more room for the multiple smaller sizes I still own. But as I shrink, I have promised myself to get rid of the big clothes. I did keep just a few of the winter things so I'm naked when it gets cold, or having to do a LOT of shopping. I figure sweats and flannel nightshirts will be OK even if they are huge on me, right? Better than being naked, at least.

But the real problem in here is the paper, which also relates to my other unfinished task. I'm horrible with paper. On a job, or for a project, I can organize the hell out of anything. I have systems in place so I can put my hands on any sheet of paper with scribbled notes for a client, but can I figure out easily where October 2001 receipts are? Nope. And really, which one is the most important? My personal paperwork, of course. I know I have this paper disability... I just need to get on top of it for a short time so I can figure out a system for handling it. I know I can organize my life the same way I organize my work. I know I can... I know I can... I know I can... (the little engine that could).

I can see the top of my desk for the first time in weeks, maybe months. I had almost forgotten that I painted it purple two years ago! I had also forgotten the color of the carpet by the futon, and the color of the futon cover, but I can see glimpses of the cover now. When I stop writing, I'm going to dig into that area of the room, and stem the tide of boxes flowing out of the closet, boxes I pulled out for Christmas and for getting to my summer clothes... I can do this!

The dust in the room is horrible, but that's because I live in the desert. The dust in the whole house is terrible. I've got a little trick, though. Before I start moving things that I know are dusty, I get out my handy-dandy mister and give the room a good misting. That is enough to settle the dust so I can wipe it with my damp cloth. If the air starts to get dusty, or I start sneezing, I just mist some more. Eventually the air is clear and the dust is in the cloth instead of my nose. Skooch hates it when I get started sneezing really hard! He looks at me like he's assessing the risk to his person. I would never sneeze at him, but I can't say the same for him!

The other thing I might do is get out the sage. I've found that smudging really helps me to clear out my own inner resistence to the task at hand. I can't explain why, I have theories, but I know for a fact this works for me. When I start to feel overwhelmed by the mess, a little sage smoke can get me back on track, and help me to find the courage to step back into my center. I'm going to bring that in here before I resume.

I started planning a new office setup this weekend. Actually, the seed was planted several weeks ago. I'm going to build in a desktop that is L shaped and get a monitor stand, one of those arm things, to lift the monitor off the work surface. Underneath, I'm going to put two file cabinets, my laser printer, paper storage and CD (software) storage. With the extra workspace, I will be able to have room for the scanner and a new color printer. On the wall space, the backsplash, I'm going to add some shallow shelves to hold reference books, a bulletin board area, a clock and a wall mounted task lamp. I think I'm going to use plywood to make it, and build it in a way that I can take it with me when I move. I'm also going to do the room paint treatment on all of the walls before this goes up. I figure I'm going to need several days, maybe even a week, where my office is taken apart and I'm off line and without a computer. WOW. I can't remember the last time that happened. It should be interesting.

Well, it's time to get back to work.