Glimpse In A Mirror

Another Sleepless Exhausted Evening

This is really hard. I can tell from how I'm feeling that I really need some serious time off. I need to decompress and get my sleep back. I'm distracted, unable to focus in my usual way, and just a bit edgy. It's challenging to be in this kind of place. But it is also interesting to see how it plays out, too. I find myself making interesting choices, choices that aren't always in my best interest, or consistent with my goals. So I'm observing new things about myself. Maybe I'm not exactly learning, but I'm seeing myself pretty clearly I think,

I had a real thought breakthrough today, while driving home from the State offices and listening to my latest tape. I started to understand astrology as a tool for providing people with a way to live an empowered life. I started seeing Venus as the clarifying desire that comes out of experiencing contrast. I wondered if maybe Jupiter points out the kinds of activities that allow a person to connect with their source energy. I had ideas for other planets. It started out as an idea for a book, something like "Venus Therapy" and quickly evolved into just one chapter in a larger work. I thought that I could put an ad in the local community college newspaper to get students to participate in my research, giving me access to charts and people I could ask questions. It is astrology as a coaching tool to facilitate people following the principles of life according to Abraham. I think it could be a very powerful book to research and write.

In general, I've been feeling very much like I want to dig into a research and writing project, before this idea appeared today. I have been looking sideways at some of the documentaries I've seen on TV, wondering about the people who did the research. There is a part of me that would LOVE to be involved with writing documentaries... it would be fascinating. I can see the cover of the book for the astrology Abraham book. I've seen book covers before, books that haven't materialized (perhaps I should add "yet"). I feel like I have a real choice here about doing it. I've also been thinking about doing a travel guide to London, a guide that would present a research strategy, showing people how to approach a trip to London (or anywhere) and how to decide what is important to them, and how to fit this into various budgets. A book about the process of planning a trip there, not about traveling there. It might be a great idea.

In so many ways, I feel that I'm on the cusp of some really great work. More than the personal growth, I am starting to feel that my life and work are coming into focus in a way that they never have before, my own sort of Venus Therapy, I guess. LOL

I'm starting to yawn...I'm going to try to lay back down.