I'm Scared

I've been putting up a brave face. But tonight I can't avoid the fact that I'm scared to my bones.

I've been avoiding anything that would cause me to come face to face with the object of my fear. I've sidestepped things, I've procrastinated, I've even denied it was true. None of those strategies helped me to actually stop being so scared, or helped me to find my courage.

Tonight, I faced my fear. I stared it in the eye. I felt my heart flutter and sink. I felt my throat gulp and my mind start to race.

But feeling my fear is not the end of this story.

I feel my fear, and I'm taking a deep breath to calm myself. I feel my fear, and I'm taking a step anyway. I feel my fear, and I'm choosing to remember that I'm powerful at the same time. I feel my fear, and I decide that I can find my way out of this forest. I feel my fear, and I feel my courage begin to rise.

I hear my mind race with negative thoughts, and I calmly remind myself about the truth. It's a "yes, but..." conversation. I can refute the hyperbole of my fears. I can also interject optimism into the space left open by the truth.

The truth is: I've been in tougher spots before, and I've made it through each time. I can repeat my performance once again. I can return to living at the level of my dreams.

See? It wasn't so bad after all.