Glimpse In A Mirror

Good Weekend Comes To A Late End

It's been a really great weekend, all things considered. I slept very long on Friday night, missing a big chunk of Saturday's daylight. Since I had so much work to get done this weekend, I worked until almost dark on the computer, and then went out on the town for a bit. I was supposed to have dinner with Kerrie, but she postponed just a few hours before. Today, I started my morning by working out in the yard, and it felt good to get dirt under my fingernails again. The herb garden is planted, at least the plants I had on hand are planted. So is the calla lily and the geraniums. I still have more to plant, and more to buy. But that can wait until after my company leaves next weekend. I have worked the rest of the day, with a break to fix dinner. So about a day and half of work over the weekend, not bad. I don't feel stressed. But because of the long sleep, I am still awake, and it is almost time for my alarm to go off. I'll sleep in a bit in the morning, up by 8, and that will put me on a good schedule for the week. One more day of work and I can really relax then. Well, at least I won't be at the computer... I won't go so far as to say I can relax with company in town and me the chauffer.

I wrote a newsletter for Desert Memaid in about 30 minutes tonight, from start to delivery. It is one of the best, maybe the best, so far, and it just splurted out of me. That is the way I like to write. It isn't even about the topic I had in mind. I was reviewing my journal, and I found this passage that just glowed. Starting from that point, the newsletter just happened. Inspired writing. I love that. I love being in the flow of that.

Fulfilling Commitments

I thought I would wind down in front of the TV, but that didn't really work. Then, I remembered that I had failed to deliver my timesheet. I have such a touchy relationship with Chris that I didn't want to wait until I get up to take care of it. I didn't want to give him a reason to gripe about me in the office, or call me every 10 minutes until I answer. So I went out to retrieve the mail to get my timesheet, filled it out, photographed it, cropped and color adjusted the photo, made the PDF and emailed it to him. My relationship with Chris is not the same since the day I complained about the client's inability to focus on details, including deadlines, or doing tech reviews of my work. I guess he just didn't want to hear it. In all of my interactions with him, I've never complained before or after, but he just doesn't like me. But honestly, other than the fact that I like it when people like me, I couldn't care less what he thinks of me, personally or professionally. I make him money, that's all. Ah, the joys of employment and forced interaction with people who are incompatible.

It comes down to this for me, regardless of the personalities -- have I done all that I can do to keep the cogs moving? The qualifier is the "all that I can do" part. It meant that I didn't blow off Chris' premature deadline of Monday at 8 (when the policy is Tuesday at 10), I dragged my pajama-clad barefoot bod into the cold desert night, walking across bare concrete, to fulfill my obligation. But at other times, "my best" means that sometimes I don't push, I don't just turn in something to turn in something. I don't burn client hours when I'm spinning my wheels. From the feedback I get, most of them get it, and most of them appreicate what I do. Someone who is structured and anal would be tortured to have me working for them, but someone who appreciates big picture thinking and responsible action loves having me on the team. At least that is what I believe is going on.

I was short with Stacey tonight on the phone. Mostly, it was because while I was listening to her blather on, saying nothing, I realized that I have 5 days of this waiting for me, 1.5 of them are me alone with her while Dave is in his conference. God, give me patience. She is one of those people that the Hopi say their head isn't connected to their body. If she would ever slow down and take a deep breath, it would completely turn around her life. She is in perpetual motion, and not accomplishing much because it is more like thrashing around. She is the truest definition of "diarrhea of the mouth and constipation of the brain" that I've ever encountered. And yet she means well, and she would go out of her way to help just about anyone. I wonder sometimes how my brother puts up with her. I have a hard time staying the the same room with her for long because of the constant buzzing. So for me, this week will be a chance to really plant my feet, breathe deeply, and stay connected to what is important about her. It's a good challenge for me.